Back at the Baranagore Math, the Swami was, as ever, the guide and leader of the band of monks so dear to his heart. He set their souls afire with the memory of the Master's words and with rousing stories of his own life as a wanderer. His extensive learning went to the intellectual development of his monastic brothers. In giving up their university studies, they had lost nothing of importance. Indeed, they were now admitted to a richer intellectual life, for the Swami was in himself an encyclopaedia. Not that he set himself up as a teacher: he would simply talk for hours, sometimes continuing the same subject for days; as the others sat round him. There were no formal classes: he was just expressing himself.

The Swami's presence was sorely needed at the Math. Chiefly on his shoulders lay the responsibility of furthering his Master's mission; but circumstances were by no means favourable. There was not only the opposition of the social tradition, but the brotherhood was financially in a crisis. At times there was scarcity of food, and especially after the passing away of Balarambabu in April 1890, and of Surendranath Mitra on May 25 of the same year. Who was to bear the expenses? Where would the monks live? And where would the sacred relics of the Master be preserved? The Swami sought help from Girishbabu, Mahendranath, and others. They readily gave a helping hand; but they were not so rich. Moreover, at this time he was assailed by the thought that something should be done to perpetuate the memory of Shri Ramakrishna in Bengal, the land of his birth: for instance, a temple in his name built on the bank of the Ganga.

To Tulsiram Ghosh_x000d_ [Ghazipur (Baghbazar)_x000d_ 10 March [?] 1890]_x000d_ Dear Tulsiram: _x000d_ A basket of roses will be sent to you in a few days at Chitpur. Do you please send them up immediately to Shashi [Swami Ramakrishnananda, at the Baranagore Math]. They would not be sent to the care of Balaram Basu, for there would be such nice delays and that would be death to the flowers._x000d_ I think if sent to Chitpur, to your depot, it would reach you there at the very place; if not, write sharp. Baburam [Swami Premananda] is here, going up in a day or two to Allahabad. I too am going off from this place very soon. I go perhaps to Bareilly and up. What is Balaram Babu [Balaram Bose] doing?_x000d_ My Pranâms etc. to you all._x000d_ Yours affectionately,_x000d_ Narendra

Victory to Ramakrishna!_x000d_ Baranagore,_x000d_ 10th May, 1890_x000d_ {original in Bengali}_x000d_ Dear Sir {Pramadadas Mitra},_x000d_ I could not write to you because of various distractions and a relapse of fever. Glad to learn from Abhedananda's letter that you are doing well. Gangadhar (Akhandananda) has probably arrived at Varanasi by this time. King Death happens here to be casting into his jaws these days many of our friends and own people, hence I am very much taken up. Perhaps no letter for me has arrived there from Nepal. I know not how and when Vishvanatha (the Lord of Kashi) would choose to vouchsafe some rest to me. Directly the hot weather relaxes a little, I am off from this place, but I am still at a loss where to go. Do please pray for me to Vishvanatha that He may grant me strength. You are a devotee, and I beseech you with the Lord's words coming to my mind, "Those who are the devoted ones to My devotees, are indeed considered the best of My devotees."_x000d_ Yours etc.,_x000d_ Vivekananda

57, Ramkanta Bose's Street_x000d_ Baghbazar, Calcutta_x000d_ 26th May, 1890_x000d_ {original in Bengali}_x000d_ Dear Sir {Pramadadas Mitra},_x000d_ I write this to you while caught in a vortex of many untoward circumstances and great agitation of mind; with a prayer to Vishvanatha, please think of the propriety and possibility, or otherwise, of all that I set forth below and then oblige me greatly by a reply._x000d_ 1. I already told you at the outset that I am Ramakrishna's slave, having laid my body at his feet "with Til and Tulasi leaves", I cannot disregard his behest. If it is in failure that that great sage laid down his life after having attained to superhuman heights of Jnana, Bhakti, Love, and powers, and after having practised for forty years stern renunciation, non-attachment, holiness, and great austerities, then where is there anything for us to count on? So I am obliged to trust his words as the words of one identified with truth._x000d_ 2. Now his behest to me was that I should devote myself to the service of the order of all-renouncing devotees founded by him, and in this I have to persevere, come what may, being ready to take heaven, hell, salvation, or anything that may happen to me._x000d_ 3. His command was that his all-renouncing devotees should group themselves together, and I am entrusted with seeing to this. Of course, it matters not if any one of us goes out on visits to this place or that, but these shall be but visits, while his own opinion was that absolute homeless wandering suited him alone who was perfected to the highest point. Before that state, it is proper to settle somewhere to dive down into practice. When all the ideas of body and the like are dissolved of themselves, a person may then pursue whatever state comes to him. Otherwise, it is baneful for a practising aspirant to be always wandering._x000d_ 4. So in pursuance of this his commandment, his group of Sannyasins are now assembled in a dilapidated house at Baranagore, and two of his lay disciples, Babu Suresh Chandra Mitra and Babu Balaram Bose, so long provided for their food and house-rent._x000d_ 5. For various reasons, the body of Bhagavan Ramakrishna had to be consigned to fire. There is no doubt that this act was very blamable. The remains of his ashes are now preserved, and if they be now properly enshrined somewhere on the banks of the Ganga, I presume we shall be able in some measure to expiate the sin lying on our head. These sacred remains, his seat, and his picture are every day worshipped in our Math in proper form; and it is known to you that a brother-disciple of mine, of Brahmin parentage, is occupied day and night with the task. The expenses of the worship used also to be borne by the two great souls mentioned above._x000d_ 6. What greater regret can there be than this that no memorial could yet be raised in this land of Bengal in the very neighbourhood of the place where he lived his life of Sadhana--he by whose birth the race of Bengalees has been sanctified, the land of Bengal has become hallowed, he who came on earth to save the Indians from the spell of the worldly glamour of Western culture and who therefore chose most of his all-renouncing disciples from university men?_x000d_ 7. The two gentlemen mentioned above had a strong desire to have some land purchased on the banks of the Ganga and see the sacred remains enshrined on it, with the disciples living there together; and Suresh Babu had offered a sum of Rs. 1,000 for the purpose, promising to give more, but for some inscrutable purpose of God he left this world yesternight! And the news of Balaram Babu's death is already known to you. _x000d_ 8. Now there is no knowing as to where his disciples will stand with his sacred remains and his seat (and you know well, people here in Bengal are profuse in their professions, but do not stir out an inch in practice). The disciples are Sannyasins and are ready forthwith to depart anywhere their way may lie. But I, their servant, am in an agony of sufferings, and my heart is breaking to think that a small piece of land could not be had in which to install the remains of Bhagavan Ramakrishna._x000d_ 9. It is impossible with a sum of Rs. 1,000 to secure land and raise a temple near Calcutta. Some such land would at least cost about five to seven thousands._x000d_ 10. You remain now the only friend and patron of Shri Ramakrishna's disciples. In the North-Western Province great indeed is your fame, your position, and your circle of acquaintance. I request you to consider, if you feel like it, the propriety of your getting the affair through by raising subscriptions from well-to-do pious men known to you in your province. If you deem it proper to have some shelter erected on the banks of the Ganga in Bengal for Bhagavan Ramakrishna's sacred remains and for his disciples, I shall with your leave report myself to you, and I have not the slightest qualm to beg from door to door for this noble cause, for the sake of my Lord and his children. Please give this proposal your best thoughts with prayers to Vishvanatha. To my mind, if all these sincere, educated, youthful Sannyasins of good birth fail to live up to the ideals of Sri Ramakrishna owing to want of an abode and help, then alas for our country!_x000d_ 11. If you ask, "You are a Sannyasin, so why do you trouble over these desires?" --I would then reply, I am Ramakrishna's servant, and I am willing even to steal and rob, if by doing so I can perpetuate his name in the land of his birth and Sadhana (spiritual struggle) and help even a little his disciples to practise his great ideals. I know you to be my closest in kinship, and I lay my mind bare to you. I returned to Calcutta for this reason. I had told you this before I left, and now I leave it to you to do what you think best._x000d_ 12. If you argue that it is better to have the plan carried out in some place like Kashi, my point is, as I have told you, it would be the greatest pity if the memorial shrine could not be raised in the land of his birth and Sadhana! The condition of Bengal is pitiable. The people here cannot even dream what renunciation truly means--luxury and sensuality have been so much eating into the vitals of the race! May God send renunciation and unworldliness into this land! They have here nothing to speak of, while the people of the North-Western Province, specially the rich there as I believe, have great zeal in noble causes like this. Please send me such reply as you think best. Gangadhar has not yet arrived today, and may do so tomorrow. I am so eager to see him again._x000d_ Please write to the address given above._x000d_ Yours etc.,_x000d_ Vivekananda

Baghbazar, Calcutta_x000d_ 4th June, 1890_x000d_ {original in Bengali}_x000d_ Dear Sir {Shri Pramadadas Mitra},_x000d_ I got your letter. There is no doubt that your advice is very wise. It is quite true that the Lord's Will will prevail. We also are spreading out here and there in small groups of two or three. I also got two letters from brother Gangadhar. He is at present in the house of Gagan Babu suffering from an attack of influenza. Gagan Babu is taking special care of him. He will come here as soon as he recovers. Our respectful salutations to you._x000d_ Your servant,_x000d_ Vivekananda _x000d_ PS. Abhedananda and others are all doing well._x000d_ V.

However, even in the midst of training his brother-disciples and planning to raise a memorial to the Master, the wandering spirit seized the Swami anew. He was "longing for a flight to the Himalayas". Day by day he found himself being more and more drawn into a web of relationships and responsibilities, and calls on his time and attention were coming from all sides. All this was interfering with his following the life of the itinerant monk, and through just that way of life becoming more confident of himself and of the message he was to give. He hoped to find some place in Garhwal, on the Ganga, where he could give himself up to contemplation. He must solve the problems of the soul, and of the land he was born in. "I am longing for a flight to the Himalayas", he wrote in the July 6 letter cited above; "This time I shall not go to Pavhari Baba or any other saint they divert one from his highest purpose. Straight up!" And in the July 15 letter, also cited, he wrote: "I leave this place before the letter reaches you . . . I have my own plans for the future and they shall be a secret."

After a three months' stay in the monastery, the Swami set out, in the third week of July 1890, with the same old deter-mination-not to return until he had achieved his spiritual goal. This time he was to be away from the Math and his brother-disciples for years. He had brought Akhandananda down from Kashmir to accompany him. "You are my man!" he said to Akhandananda: "You have faith! Come, let us be off together."_x000d_ To his brother-disciples the Swami said, "I shall not return until I acquire such realization that my very touch will trans-form a man."

Before leaving Calcutta he went with Akhanda¬nanda to Ghusuree, a village across the Ganga, where he sought out the Holy Mother to receive her blessings. He told her, "Mother, I shall not return until I have attained the highest Jnana." The Holy Mother blessed him in the name of the Master. She said, "My son, will you not see your own mother at home before leaving?" "Mother," he answered, "you alone are my mother." Seeing his spirit, the Holy Mother again blessed him. She blessed Akhandananda also, saying "My son, I am leaving my all [meaning the Swami] in your hands. You are familiar with life in the mountains: see that Naren has not to suffer for food."_x000d_ On returning to the Math the Swami said to Akhandananda (whom he used to address out of affection as "Ganges"), "Look, Ganges, we shall not get down anywhere. We go straight to the North-West Province."

Baghbazar, Calcutta_x000d_ July 6, 1890_x000d_ Dear Sharat {Saradananda} and Kripananda,_x000d_ Your letters have duly reached us. They say Almora is healthiest at this time of the year, yet you are taken ill! I hope it is nothing malarious. . . . _x000d_ I find Gangadhar the same pliant child with his turbulence moderated by his wanderings, and with a greater love for us and for our Lord. He is bold, brave, sincere, and steadfast. The only thing needed is a guiding mind to whom he would instinctively submit with reverence, and a fine man would be the result._x000d_ I had no wish to leave Ghazipur this time, and certainly not to come to Calcutta, but Kali's illness made me go to Varanasi, and Balaram's sudden death brought me to Calcutta. So Suresh Babu and Balaram Babu are both gone! G.C. Ghosh is supporting the Math. . . . I intend shortly, as soon as I can get my fare, to go up to Almora and thence to some place in Gharwal on the Ganga where I can settle down for a long meditation. Gangadhar is accompanying me. Indeed it was with this desire and intention that I brought him down from Kashmir._x000d_ I don't think you ought to be in any hurry about coming down to Calcutta. You have done with roving; that's good, but you have not yet attempted the one thing you should do, that is, be resolved to sit down and meditate. I don't think Jnana is a thing like rousing a maiden suddenly from sleep by saying, "Get up, dear girl, your marriage ceremony is waiting for you!" as we say. I am strongly of opinion that very few persons in any Yuga (age) attain Jnana, and therefore we should go on striving and striving even unto death. That's my old-fashioned way, you know. About the humbug of modern Sannyasins' Jnana I know too well. Peace be unto you and strength! Daksha, who is staying at Vrindaban with Rakhal (Brahmananda), has learnt to make gold and has become a pucca Jnani, so writes Rakhal. God bless him, and you may say, amen!_x000d_ I am in fine health now, and the good I gained by my stay in Ghazipur will last, I am sure, for some time. I am longing for a flight to the Himalayas. This time I shall not go to Pavhari Baba or any other saint--they divert one from his highest purpose. Straight up!_x000d_ How do you find the climate at Almora? Neither S__ nor you need come down. What is the use of so many living together in one place and doing no good to one's soul? Don't be fools always wandering from place to place; that's all very good, but be heroes._x000d_ {Sanskrit}_x000d_ "Free from pride and delusion, with the evil of attachment conquered, ever dwelling in the Self, with desires completely receded, liberated from the pairs of opposites known as pleasure and pain, the undeluded reach that Goal Eternal" (Gita, XV. 5)._x000d_ Who advises you to jump into fire? If you don't find the Himalayas a place for Sadhana, go somewhere else then. So many gushing inquiries simply betray a weak mind. Arise, ye mighty one, and be strong! Work on and on, struggle on and on! Nothing more to write._x000d_ Yours affectionately,_x000d_ Vivekananda

To Swami Saradananda_x000d_ Salutation to Bhagavan Ramakrishna_x000d_ Calcutta_x000d_ 32 Ashâdha [July 15, 1890]_x000d_ My dear Sharat,_x000d_ I am sorry to learn that [Vaikunthanath] Sanyal's habits are as yet not Pucca [firm]; and what about Brahmacharya? I don't understand you. If so, the best thing for you both is to come _x000d_ down and live here. The widow of Mohindra Mukherjee is trying head and heart to erect a Math for you, and Surendranath Mitra has left another thousand so that you are very likely soon to get a beautiful place on the river. As for all the hardships up there, I reserve my own opinions._x000d_ It was not at all my intention to come down, only the death of Balaram Bose had made me have a peep here and go back. If the mountains be so bad, there is more than enough place for me; only I leave Bengal. If one does not suit, another will. So that is my determination. Everyone here will be so glad at your return here, and from your letter I see it would be downright injurious to you if you didn't come down. So come down at your earliest opportunity. I will leave this place before this letter reaches you; only I won't go to Almora. I have my own plans for the future and they shall be a secret._x000d_ As for Sanyal, I do not see how I can benefit him. Of course, you are at liberty to hold your own opinion about the Sanga [holy company] here. That I can find places Sudrishya [having scenic beauty] and Subhiksha [where alms are available] is enough. Sanga is not much, or, I think, not at all necessary for me._x000d_ Yours, etc.,_x000d_ Narendra.